Episode 40: 3 Things To Stop Worrying About In 2019

3 Things To Stop Worrying About In 2019

We’ve all heard the sayings “new year, new me” and “out with the old, in with the new”, so for 2019 we are ditching those tired mantras! Instead  of completely reinventing yourself the ladies give you the top 3 things to stop worrying about and becoming a more successful companion.  

Date Idea:

A lovely gentleman takes Chantel, Vivian, and Valencia on a romantic fun getaway to Cabo, where the ladies can frolic with their natural hair. 

What's In The News:

From Huffington Post, Nov 29, 2018: Nobody Would Hire Me Because I Was A Sex Worker. So I Started My Own Company. Written by former Domme Amy Boyajian

  • When people ask me how I got into sex work, I say it just happened. To be honest, sex work scared the shit out of me.
  • I’d love to say I donned my latex body suit in the name of sexual freedom, feminism or just generally being a badass. The fact is, I entered my career as a dominatrix with sheer terror.
  • I do have a lot of privileges in this society (I’m white, cisgendered, able-bodied, etc.), but I was finding it hard to hold down a job because of my immigrant status and mental health. I was living paycheck to paycheck, in a windowless room far off the L train in Brooklyn. My panic attacks came as often as the rats in my kitchen (frequently).  
  • My life was vibrant with queer parties and provocative art projects, but it was lacking purpose and direction. Sex work gave me that direction. In fact, it changed my entire life
  • I couldn’t fathom the roadblocks sex work would create in my future, but I was finally able to free myself from the anxiety of my credit card getting declined while trying to buy food
  • After a few years, I experienced sex worker burnout, a term used to describe the emotional and physical exhaustion and stress from overwork in the sex industry. The job itself was difficult at times, but it wasn’t necessarily the work or the clients that left me feeling this way. The feelings of isolation and loneliness from how I was perceived and treated by others really got to me.
  • I became an almost unreal character to other people. To them, my job defined who I was, and I didn’t feel respected as an individual. I was either perceived as dumb for using my body to make money, immoral for having such a profession, or a novelty, like a clown at a party.
  • I started to browse hiring websites to look for a job that could help me get out. It was finally when I experienced a horrific act of sexual violence by a police officer, that I called it quits completely.
  • I started looking for a new job to refocus my life and my finances. But no matter where I applied, even at “feminist” sex stores or progressive establishments, I was rejected. No matter how I arranged my resume, highlighting my business degree or more than eight years of management experience, whorephobia followed me.
  • I had friends who guaranteed me I could get a job at their place of employment, only for them to come back later saying their manager saw my previous job as a “liability.” When I did get an interview, I quickly realized my interviewers simply didn’t understand what my previous work was. A gasp came from a person interviewing me as I explained what a dominatrix is, while another simply ended the conversation on the spot. I found it infuriating that in a society that constantly tells sex workers they need to get a “real” job, nobody would actually give me a chance.
  • My boyfriend encouraged me to examine what would truly make me happy and motivated.
  • Together we created Wild Flower, which merged a space for sexual learning with resources and products to support that within an inclusive environment.
  • It seemed overwhelming at first. But with a few hundred dollars, hours spent creating educational videos, a website, and a passion to help others, Wild Flower emerged and flourished. It has grown to not only support my boyfriend and I financially, but also to reflect the essence of who I am and what I see as the purpose of my life.
  • My situation is not typical. Many sex workers, especially those who are transgender and/or people of color, are subject to even worse discrimination and treatment if they chose to leave the industry. As a society, we’re obsessed with sex workers, yet we don’t treat them as humans. We hijack their looks, use their services and imitate their work, yet don’t give them the respect they deserve. We need to do better.

Fan Questions & Feedback:

From itunes review – we have 73 5-star ratings so far. Please subscribe and leave us a review so that more people hear about the show. This review is from our femme fatale Whitney Vale.

The two ladies are not only a riot, they are whip-smart, sassy go-getters that know how to win and are helping other women do the same! They are also helping men win by teaching them how to be gentlemen again, how to approach a woman, and to leave a positive lasting impression on a date! Thank you Queen Chantel & Queen Vivian!

From: Online form on website

Subject: Prepay

Ladies, I was wondering something.  If a client prepaid for a date in full prior to the date do you think it would be considered less illegal since no money changed hands at the time of the date.  I am all about prepaying to someone I trust. It would just seem more natural. The companion wouldn’t have to worry getting stiffed or feel the need to count the cash.  Hopefully I will see Chantel again and would prefer prepayment. You might want to check with one of your legal beagle clients.

How To Stop Worrying In The New Year:

  1. Your Competitors – don’t get us wrong, you can watch what they’re doing, but NEVER let it rattle you. If they are priced lower, you shouldn’t care. If they are growing and doing well, you shouldn’t care either, nor should you be scared. It’s not worth your time to worry about ladies supposedly stealing your clients, as tempting as it is, NOT! You should focus and trust your ability to market and sell yourself. In the end that will help you overcome anything. The amateur mindset is that “oh there are too many girls in my area!”. That could not be further from the truth! If you notice, every time you see a McDonalds, there’s usually a burger king or wendy’s next to it. Wendy’s and Burger king basically follow mcdonald’s all over the globe and they know that they don’t have to put McDonald’s out of business, but people change their minds and sometimes want something different to eat. The same goes for our business, even your bonafide regular will want to spend time with another companion every now and then, and vice versa, and that is completely ok! In business it is widely preached that you should study the successful and do what they are doing or at least emulate it, because it will never be exactly what they’re doing. Look at their marketing techniques, platforms, etc. Also, just because someone is priced lower than you doesn’t mean you need to undercut them. In fact you should be doing the complete opposite. If you’re competing on price, you are on the race to the bottom of the barrel. What you should be competing on is VALUE! Value is the reason why a wealthy man chooses to shop at armani instead of men’s wearhouse. So you should be studying the top tier ladies in your market and see how you can be on their level or as close to it as possible. Another perfect example is Apple; Apple is the reason why we are all walking around with $1,000 phones today. When they came out with their high priced phones, all of their competitors followed suit. Which leads me to another point, don’t worry about people copying you (as long as they are not straight up stealing your actual photos like Ms. Monet). When people are copying you, you should be excited. Because #1 it shows that your marketing and product is perceived as excellent. No one copies someone that they don’t admire and want to be like. #2 it also means that they will always be one step behind. You just stay focused on being innovative and creating better ways to sell and market yourself to your ideal clients. They can never beat you by copying you. The only way a person can “beat” you is if they make your product better in value. Focus on addressing the needs and concerns of your ideal clients and you will never lose. No more whining and complaining on Twitter, you are in charge of your life so act like it!
  2. Failure – There are so many ladies that don’t even get started because they’re too busy worried about having everything just right. They ask all the questions and get all the answers but fall into what is usually referred to in the business world as “Paralysis By Analysis”. This is basically when someone is so consumed with analyzing all the steps to get started in a venture, that they are literally paralyzed and cannot make the decision to get started. Ladies, all you need is to get some professional looking photos done, get your social media set up, get a website (takenbystorm.biz has great rates for newbies), and focus on selling/marketing. It’s not rocket science. As a matter of fact one of the reasons we are writing the e-book (How to get started as an escort) is so that no one has the excuse for why they haven’t gotten started. I promise you, that you can do this on your own. You just need get educated and get out there! Just keep this in mind: focus only on activities that make you money! Failure is where the wisdom comes from because it forces you to learn and be better. All the greats failed before they became successful: J.K Rowling, Oprah, even President Trump believe it or not. The one thing all these people have in common is that they kept going even after they failed many times, and learned from their mistakes.
  3. Criticism – Know this: the more successful you are, the more criticism you will receive. I mean we have critics of the show but I told Chantel from day one that we should expect them the more popular the show guests. People you don’t know will be mad at you and you should know that it has NOTHING to do with you. Get used to it, EXPECT it and it won’t phase you. And with social media as popular as it is, it has awakened a huge group widely known as trolls. Don’t feed them. Stay focused on your actual clients, your friends, family, etc. Stay focused on things that put money in your pockets. Everything else, IGNORE! Because if you get offended over every little comment, you won’t make it in LIFE! We know a lady like this and it is very sad to watch actually, but of course we stay the hell away from negativity so we wish her the best of luck!